50 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan
by fullmetaljap150
Summary: 50 ways to annoy bella! CHAPTER 2 NOW OUT 50 ways to annoy Edward... please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

50 ways to annoy Bella Swan:

50 ways to annoy Bella Swan:

Tell her that Edward went cliff diving…

Into an ocean of kerosene.

Then tell her you did her a favor and "accidentally" dropped a lit match off the cliff after him.

When she doesn't believe you pull out some ashes (h)from the plastic baggy in your pocket.

Tell her that Edward left her for Jane.

Tell her that Jane dumped him.

Then he went to Victoria.

When she says, "Victoria's dead!" say, "I know." And walk away.

Put in red contacts and say to Bella, "Look what **Edward**did to me!"

Put a sign on Edward's bedroom door saying, "This is a no trip zone!"

Then put a sign under it that says, "any violators will be rejected….

FOREVER!!"

When she asks, "FOREVER?!" tell her, "yeah that's a _REALLY_ long time."

Give her a pet bat for Christmas…

Then tell her that Edward drank this funny potion and….

POOF!! (With big arm motions)

Then when he "mysteriously" disappears the next day tell her that he flew to Tanya's.

And got struck by lightning and set on fire.

(Again)

Tell Mike that Bella wants him to sing a love song every time he sees her.

Put a fake dog tail in her sandwich at lunch

When she finds it say, "Poor Jacob…"

When she freaks out, tell her that only part of his tail was detached.

When she asks what he looks like in human form tell her he was looking good except for the fact that he had a prosthetic nose.

Whenever she is with Edward, shove her in front of the nearest moving car.

Give her a flier that says, "vampire slayers wanted."

Tell her if she doesn't take the job, you will never let her see Jacob again.

When she says, "WHAT?!" go into a corner and sharpen two knives muttering, "soon…soon…"

When Edward "by coincidence" doesn't show up for school the next day say, "sorry, I couldn't find Jacob."

When she asks how you killed a vampire on your own say, "Charlie helped me."

When he shows up the next day at school mutter under your breath, "Whoops! I guess there just wasn't enough _gun powder_."

Steal her bracelet then go to school to show it off to Edward and say, "Look what Bella gave to me, she said she didn't want it any more.

When Edward asks why say, "She said that it meant nothing to her."

When Bella demands you to give it back say, "Sorry, I dropped it down the sewer." And hand her a **dollar**.

When she's gone, pull it out of your pocket, take the heart charm off, and put it on Edward's desk.

When he finds it, tell him, "Bella wanted me to give this back to you."

Tell her that Emmett has her name tattooed on his back.

Replace her wedding dress with a paper bag.

When she asks where it is say, "Oh… you mean the white table cloth I just stained?"

When she gets mad at you yell, "Look a distraction!"

When she looks, run away.

Tie Bella up and lock her in a closet.

Five hours later…

She finally gets out and sees the banner you hung saying…

Congrats! You made it out of the closet in record time!

Take a five-minute break…

Then lock her in the closet again.

Tell her that dinner will not be for the human if she doesn't break out.

When Bella yells, "Edward!" and he attempts to come to the rescue…

Tell him not to interfere with the testing.  
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Please R&R! If there are enough reviews, I'll post 50 ways to annoy Edward Cullen too!!


	2. Chapter 2

50 ways to annoy Edward Cullen:

By: Carson Weaver and Alissa Matsumoto

1.Tell him that Bella replaced him with a **bat**.

2.Tell him that Emmett had Bella's name tattooed on his back.

3.Buy him a puppy named Jacob.

4.When he tries to return it tell him, "Bella bought it for you."

5.Tell him Bella went cliff diving with Jacob.

6.And that she wasn't so lucky this time.

7.When he refuses to believe you, show him the wax hand that you just happen to have in your pocket.

8.Videotape him screaming.

9.Post the video on YouTube.

10.Repeat everything he says in your head.

11.When he clutches his head from the buzzing, ask him if he needs a drink of –cough blood cough

12.Tell him, "Don't forget to breathe!!"

13.Every time you are near him, close your eyes and walk aimlessly across the street.

14.When he gets mad after saving you for the nineteenth time…

15.Run behind the bushes nearby and change into the mountain lion costume that just happens to be there.

16.Then walk up to Edward and say, "Bite me!"(while in the mountain lion suit.)

17.Direct Edward to stand like a statue…

18.Then tell people to form a single file line and to pay you a dollar, to view the amazing spectacle.

19.Your exhibit name being, a real live vampire!

20.When Edward reminds you that he isn't alive…

21.Grab his arm and drag him to the nearest cemetery, where coincidentally (thank you Alice) had a grave dug up for him.

22.Give Bella laughing gas and promptly drop her off at Edward's house.

23.When she comes home bruised, say, "Look what Edward did." to Charlie.

24.When Charlie finds out Edward is bulletproof…

25.Explain to him that Edward is actually a robot.

26.Then say, "Look, no heart beat!"

27.Later when Charlie drags Bella home…

28.Run.

29.Fast.

30.**_Really_** fast.

31.Give him a book titled, "How Not to Be a Robot"

32.Then give him a book titled, "Personality for Dummies"

33.Then a book titled, "Anger Management for Dummies"

34.Because you can see him getting mad.

35.Then repeat steps 28, 29, and 30.

36.Shave his head.

37.Then, tell him that he should invest in a toupee.

38.Put him in a vampire-proof room full of pictures of Mike Newton.

39.Then leave him there…

40.For a few years.

41.Take out your fake wand and yell, "AVADA KADAVRA!!"

42.When nothing happens say, "Wait a second, wrong curse… INCENDIO!!"

43.When Edward bursts into flames say with wonder, "Hey, it works!!"

44.Every time he tries to save Bella hold out your wand and yell, "Accio Edward Cullen!!"

45.When Bella gets hit by a car…

46.Repeat steps 28, 29, and 30… again.

47.Tell him that his toupee has a hole in it.

48.When he takes it off…

49.BURN IT!!

50.Take a picture and post it on the internet… again.


End file.
